so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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