Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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