Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
