You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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