It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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