the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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