oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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