why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
