Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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