Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
