When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
