am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Your cock deserves a montage
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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