my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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