She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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