Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
