so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is the high leading the old right now
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
