I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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