You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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