It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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