Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
