I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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