Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
