Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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