By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
