I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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