So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
