I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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