: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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