Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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