She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
