hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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