She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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