dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
