Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
