Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i believe in u and ur pee
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
