I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
