Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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