As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it's like iHOP with fire
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
