I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
