Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
