I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
