But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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