can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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