At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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