We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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