dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
