Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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