She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
