I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
