Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
